People Like People Who [Are] Like Them

  So, I’ll cut straight through the chase; no fox-hunting today, just the gun and the hounds and the horn. But while my horse canters away at the fox (I don’t condone fox hunting, nor do I like hunting to start with, but this is metaphor) it leads me to a den full of other foxes, so similar to itself. And the people I’m hunting with are probably similar to myself. Because people like people who are like themselves. Affinity, in the greatest sense of the word.
   Affinity, at first, seems common sense for happiness. And while it is common sense for happiness, it’s not only common sense; it’s essential. Surrounding oneself with various fun-house mirror images of one’s own reflection creates stability. I think, “A.” All of my other friends think, “A.” too. Some with a “+” or “-” involved, but an “A” nonetheless. We are all similar, we are all right, we are all good. Thus, I am similar to the norm, I am the norm, I am right, I am good, I have a role here, I belong here.
   Essentially, this affinity is a motion against change. If I fit in, I am appropriate. I need no altering. None of my friends need altering, there is no conflict. The life I lead is a still, as cold, and as distilled as an old, algae-covered pond. We aren’t looking for people to have fun with, who are interesting; we are looking for images of ourselves varied enough to fulfill the belief that we are normal, that we are unique and yet not. We create our own reality in relationships, and the reality is such an absurd bundle of egocentrism we never see it.
Even the idea that “opposites attract,” is a lie. Romantically, the mechanic might be hot for the PhD candidate. But they’ll share enough beliefs, traits, and thoughts to reinforce each other. If they don’t, they won’t have enough spark. If the mechanic is Catholic and the PhD candidate’s agnostic, they will fit to each other’s contrasts so that that contrast is minimized, or discuss it until it’s no longer abnormal in itself. It’s understood. There is no stigma, there is no conflict. It is normal. He/she is normal. He/she is good.
   I have friends with whom I don’t agree on certain things: politics, homosexuality, religion, etc. But we never discuss these things. We don’t want to grow outwards. We want to reinforce the Ozone of our lives; nothing outside the livable atmosphere can come inside. It’s natural: biologically, psychologically; it’s essential. Even people who pretend to “be something they’re not” end up disillusioned and bored and feeling like they can’t survive. Affinity for oneself, then, is the only affinity that really exists. Until you or I widen in viewpoint, or you or I retract it. Nothing else can be seen; it’s outside the lens of our rose-colored glasses.